To properly confront a void

“Gluing my eyes together girl, might be the right escape…” The Vines, Country yard


This weird gut feeling hanging round me is wrinkling up my eyebrows, sucking oxygen out of my lungs, crushing my chest, and laying weight on my neck. What do you say when you have nothing to say? When what I learned is to see through a story, what can I see through this time when there is no storyline? I don’t have a blueprint of how a world will be. I don’t have opinions about some certain object of technology, when all I ever have is an abstract sense of likings and the instinct to use and improvise with what I already have. I don’t want to back down, but right now I’m battling a war that has already lost. It’s not that I don’t want to try, but while they all are so sure about themselves I have no particular words in my mouth. I have neither creed, nor standing ground. I have to recognise something that I dread to say out loud: I have nothing to offer. How do you deal with emptiness?